we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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