forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
