U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
