So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
