To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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