She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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