I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
