What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
