What did we do last night that was yellow?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
