u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize