normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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