We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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