Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just want to make out with him forever
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
