I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
