Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
