i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
