i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
