I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize