Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
