If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
