Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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