i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
