I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize