With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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