i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
