Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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