i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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