i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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