Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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