she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
