3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Don't make out with my wife yet
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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