if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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