Moan for me like Helen Keller
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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