Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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