my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
