I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
time to smoke my breakfast
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
