Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She's the barista slut.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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