Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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