Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
