What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
