So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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