You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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