i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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