It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
