she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
