you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
