It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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