When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
