Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
