I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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