"it" just moved
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize