Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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