i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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