is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
