this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
