i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
if only i could text you this smell
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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