If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
