she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She bit a glass in half.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
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