Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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