I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize