my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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