Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
