Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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