I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
