did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
